Moving After Becoming an Empty Nester

All My Sons Moving & Storage helps families through all of life’s major milestones and transitions, including sending children to college, assisting seniors with moving for retirement, and helping parents navigate into a new home once the children are all adults.

While you may have known this day was coming since the day you first brought your beloved child home, it may seem that it has arrived all too soon. Whether your child left for college and never came back or they were able to strike out on their own later in adulthood, you now find yourself in a quiet home with several empty bedrooms. Welcome to the club of ‘empty nesters,’ the roughly 20 million Americans who must now navigate life after kids. 

For many empty-nesters, this new season of life might mean repurposing your children’s old bedrooms in order to craft the perfect new lifestyle you’ve been dreaming of. For some though, a large house may be too much to manage and a change in location lies on the horizon.

At All My Sons Moving & Storage, we believe that your things matter. As you pack up the children’s memorabilia and prepare to rediscover yourself, you want to know that your things are cared for. We’ve spent over 30 years in the moving industry, and we remain committed to the traditional values we were founded on. Allow us to help you ease into a life without the kids.

If you have decided that it’s time for a change after the kids are grown, you might consider a downsized move into a smaller house, a 55+ community, or a cozy apartment in your ideal city. Downsizing might simplify your life in the long run, but it can be a long and emotional process. You should start your move by identifying what’s most important to you now that your children are grown.

• Define Your Values: Now that child-rearing is finished, your relationship with your adult children will shift. Spending time with them could still be high on your priorities list, but what other dreams do you have for your life? Will you now have time for travel, career goals, or creative pursuits? Reflect on what you want this next phase of your life to be about.

• Determine Essential Items: Sort through your home inventory, and find the items that are most meaningful to you. Antique furniture, heirlooms from beloved family members, or hobby gear you’ve been putting on the back burner while your kids were in the house. Put these items on your must-have list. When you know exactly what needs to fit into your new life, it will be easier to see what needs to go and to select a new home that accommodates your new lifestyle.

• Find the Ideal Location: Your values will help lead you to the best area for house hunting or apartment hunting. Once you have a city or town in mind, you can search within that area for a home that accommodates your essentials. 

• Measure Dimensions of Your New Home: When you have a perfect place lined up, be sure to measure the dimensions of all your rooms and doorways. Be sure to remember to measure any large furniture pieces or appliances that you want to keep as well to ensure they fit into your new home. Draw a floorplan for your new home that supports your values, and prepare to start decluttering to fit into your new home.

The most important question for empty nesters who are downsizing is what to do with all their children’s former items. Going through your child’s old bedroom will be an emotional process. Ideally, your adult child will be involved in some part of the process and available to assist. 

• Ask Children if They Want to Keep Items: Before you do anything else with your child’s old things, you should ask your child if they want the items. Don’t assume that your child is ready to part with old toys, stuffed animals, or treasured books just because they’re an adult and have bills to pay. You also shouldn’t assume that because you adored your child’s glowing report cards and sports trophies that they will feel the same way and want to keep the items indefinitely as you have. Once your child’s wishes are known, you can arrange to give these items back or proceed to send these items on their way.

• Give Sentimental Items to Other Family and Friends: While neither you nor your adult child may want an item, some items may be meaningful to other beloved people in your life. If an item makes you think of a special person, try asking that person if they’d like the item. If the answer is no, then proceed to sell, donate, or discard as necessary.

• Donate Items to Charities: Things in good condition that could be enjoyed by another person can be donated to a charity. You can also list items for free on Facebook Marketplace or Freecycle. 

• Dispose of Items in Poor Condition: Children’s items in poor condition or items that would be meaningless to another person like old journals, filled photo albums, or school projects should be responsibly discarded. If you have large items in need of disposal, you can call same-day junk removal to get the items out of your home as soon as today. 

• Sell Items in Great Condition: Collectible items, specialized hobby gear, and brand-name products are good candidates for selling. You can attempt to sell many items in one go at a garage or estate sale, take items to consignment stores, or list items individually online. 

• Rent Storage for Items too Precious to Part With: Storage is a great solution for those items you want to hang onto but will not have immediate space for in your next home. Items like heirlooms, antiques, or favorite items that your child wants back someday are candidates for storage.

Relocations are emotional events, and your transition into a new home after your kids have all left is no exception. Give yourself permission to experience the full range of feelings that arise during this new phase of your life. 

Here are some tips for navigating an emotional move.

• Plan Ahead and Prepare: A well-organized move causes significantly less mental distress than the move you throw together last-minute. Write out a list of moving tasks as soon as you know you are moving, start calling and researching moving companies, and arrange for utilities to get transferred to connected. 

• Manage Your Moving Emotions: Try to notice and name your feelings without judgement. It’s okay to feel sad, nostalgic, elated, or afraid when you move after your kids are grown. When you identify a feeling, don’t bottle it up. Look for a healthy way to express that feeling. You may need to take periodic breaks to cry, reminisce, or talk things over with a partner or a friend. 

• Practice Good Moving Self-Care: Take good care of your body during your move by eating nourishing good, staying hydrated, and making sure you get plenty of sleep. The emotional highs and lows are easier to manage when you’re not overly tired, hungry, or thirsty.

• Ask for Help When You Need It: If a task or an emotion feels overwhelming, reach out to trusted family, friends, or professionals. You don’t have to do everything alone. Hire professional movers to manage the heavy lifting or the packing, contact a therapist to assist you with redefining your goals and your purpose, or even call your adult child to pack boxes with you. 

All My Sons has been in business for over 30 years, and we’ve seen all the laughter and tears that a move can bring. For this next move into your years beyond parenthood, we urge you to get a quote from us to start the process. Our movers can go local to the thriving 55+ apartment community you’ve been eyeing or long-distance to the coastal town of your dreams. We’ve moved more than 3 million happy families, and we’d be honored to bring our attentive care to your next move.