Moves that Merge Households

Your deepening relationship with a significant other just called for the next big step: Moving in together. Whether you’re choosing a new apartment to make a joint home after the wedding or welcoming your other half and their children into your established house, this is an exciting and nerve-wracking time for your relationship. Understand that there will be bumps, friction, and growing pains, but if your love is strong then you can make the move the start of a bright new chapter you’ll write together.

All My Sons Moving & Storage has been helping businesses, families, and individuals through all of life’s major milestones and transitions for over 30 years. We perform roughly 225,000 local moves annually at our locations across the nation, and we provide long-distance moving services for couples ready to break the distance. At All My Sons Moving & Storage we believe that things matter. As you move in with your significant other, our team members will treat your possessions as if they belonged to beloved members of our own family. 

When you’re moving in with a significant other, your moving checklist will look a little different than if you were moving somewhere by yourself. Here are five things to plan for as you dive into your move to merge households.

Each of you brings objects that have been precious to your lives as individuals. Now with the merging of your households, you will find that you have some duplicate objects in your combined home inventory. Maybe you both have a snazzy kitchen blender, or you each have a copy of a mutual favorite vinyl record. Whatever you both bring to the new home, chances are that in daily life you won’t need the extras.

Take this opportunity before the move to declutter what you keep in your possession. Go through your individual closets and determine what no longer fits your body or your style, search through your books and physical media collections to find items you’re willing to part with, and of course locate all the duplicate kitchen utensils and small appliances. Items in good condition should be donated to you favorite local charity, and items that no longer serve their function should be responsibly discarded.

It may happen that you have items that do not fit into your shared space but you’re not ready to part with yet. You can move these items into a storage space and keep them on hand without them being underfoot. This solution is ideal for items that you might love but do not use often like holiday decorations, childhood mementos, and photo albums. 

As you combine households, you may also find that there are items you need for your shared space that you do not have yet. For instance, both of you have rented apartments with appliances included up to this point, but now you’re buying a house together and you need all the essentials like refrigerators, freezers, washers, and dryers. 

Take time before the move to start a list of all the basic necessities you might be missing. This is also a great opportunity to consider what items you want in your dream shared home, such as a family gaming table or an elaborate home entertainment center.

If your impending move comes on the heels of your honeymoon, create a fun date at your favorite household goods retail store and update your wedding registry together. As you browse the store shelves, try to pick items that fit both of your tastes. You both will have to live in this space together, and you should decorate your shared areas in a way that represents the two of you together as a couple or all of you together as a blended family.

Before you move in together, the two of you should discuss your expectations regarding cleanliness and the division of labor in the household. Up to this point, you haven’t had to clean up after each other or share a washing machine. Spilled coffee grounds on the counter can quickly become an argument, or worse, a place where one partner allows resentment to fester. 

There is no one “correct” way to divide the household labor, but the two of you should aim to put your best foot forward in all tasks so that no one party feels taken for granted.

• Both Parties Take Ownership of the Home: Now that you are living together, both parties need to take equal responsibility for taking care of shared spaces. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that household labor is just one partner’s responsibility. The two of you are a team now, and making the home a beautiful, livable space is now a joint chore. 

• Assign Tasks Based on Strengths and Preferences: Your partner may loathe certain household chores and excel at others. The two of you can assign tasks based on your individual preferences to ensure both parties are playing to their strengths. One partner cooks and the other does the dishes, or one partner takes on all the laundry while the other does all the vacuuming, dusting, and toilet cleaning. 

• Revaluate Your System at Regular Check-Ins: Change is an inevitable part of life, and there may be points in your future where the system you set up no longer serves you. Perhaps one partner takes on longer work hours and can no longer complete all the cooking, or the two of you decide to start a family and you must now factor caring for an infant into your joint chores. This is why you should evaluate how you’ve decided to divide labor at regular intervals and before big life changes. Try to have a check-in conversation about how household labor is working when you’re both feeling rested and emotionally neutral.

Now comes one of the fun parts of moving in together. Decorating together is a delightful way to bond and ensure you both love the space you’re in. 

If you are moving into a brand new space together, create a floorplan and a design aesthetic that will make both your hearts soar before you start unpacking boxes. If one partner is moving into another partner’s established space, this is a great time to clean the slate and decide on a new decorating scheme. 

• Discuss Individual Aesthetics: If one partner loves loud colors and the other feels cozy with neutral tones, you’ll probably have a hard time finding common ground but where there’s love and mutual respect, there’s a way. Have a conversation about what interior design schemes you each love. Bring pictures and vision boards so your partner can see exactly what you’re thinking about. 

• Put Shared Memories on the Walls: In common areas like living rooms, put up décor pieces and pictures that are meaningful to both of you. These could be pictures from a trip you took together, an art piece by a painter you both adore, or souvenirs from important milestones in your relationship. 

• Keep Some Spaces Separate: Just like it’s good for you to maintain your individual friend circles and hobbies, it’s also good for you to have a few spaces in your home that belong to just you. Find areas in your home where you can fully express your individual tastes, such as a cozy reading nook or an office. If you have a full house to decorate, perhaps one partner can take a guest space as an art studio and the other partner can make the basement their sports cave.

Moving with pets? One or both partners need to move in with children? For those couples who are blending entire families, including the furry members, merging households will involve logistics beyond donating duplicates and learning to decorate together. If you love your partner, hopefully that love extends to the ones they hold close and take responsibility for. 

• Discuss Rules or Boundaries: Is the cat allowed in the bedroom? If a child asks for candy before dinner, are they allowed to have it? When you have rules for your pet or child that you’ve enforced in your own home, you should communicate those rules to your partner. If you are marrying your partner, you should discuss whether or not you want your partner to officially adopt your children and take on shared responsibility for them. 

• Plan for Attentive Care During the Move: Moving is a chaotic and stressful time for young children and pets. Before the move, determine whether or not you’ll need a babysitter for extra childcare or if your beloved pet should stay with a friend or neighbor during parts of the transition. Set aside children’s essentials or pet essentials to ensure you have important items like medications and food on hand during the move. 

• Include Child or Pet Care into Division of Labor: Of course you love them dearly, but children and pets add another layer of household labor to the mix. Now that you are moving in with your significant other, you need to include pet care or child care into your conversation about domestic labor. Does the partner who brings the dog take primary responsibility for walks, feeding, and play, or do both parties now consider the dog a shared responsibility? Does a teenage child always need to ask their father for money, or can the new step-mom provide when necessary? Remember to reevaluate your systems as your needs change, and as your pets and children grow older.

When it comes time to take the next step in your relationship, allow All My Sons Moving & Storage to help ease the transition. Our company works hard to uphold the original values we were founded on and we aim to provide an honest helping hand wherever it is needed. We’ve been moving couples just like you for over four generations. Click the quote button to get started on your move into the future with your significant other.